It appears I’ve been neglecting to mention that I was asked to be the Political Editor for the newly launched e-mag, A World Of Progress Team Zine. Anything and everything you enjoy about this site can be found there, and much, much more. So visit often, bookmark the site, and tell all of your friends to do the same.

Sometimes, things just start to roll your way. Perhaps it’s partially due to my recent change in scenery- the Blue Ridge Mountains are certainly more inspiring than the suburban sprawl that was Overland Park, Kansas. Perhaps it’s because I came from a town that, while small and relatively insignificant, has produced hundreds of writers, directors, actors, and industry professionals…who knows?

The point, friends and neighbors, is that over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting here less frequently than I had originally intended. Two days ago, I was telling myself that I would produce content here daily, and write for the mag at least three times a week. I still plan on keeping to my schedule for the mag , but yesterday I was presented with an offer to develop a screenplay for a mid-sized (budget wise) independent film. Turns out, this kid who lived in my neighborhood for a time has been rockin’ the film festival circuit for the last four years, and has six flicks to his credit that were bought and distributed.

I’ll try to post here as often as I can, but I’ve got about three weeks to wrap up writing the flick, and that will take a massive effort on my part.

If you would like to be a contributing writer for the Team Zine,  drop me a line with your work. Keep in mind that I’m editing the political page, and make sure the content you produce focuses on politics alone. {psst…Trav…some international stuff would be nice}

Look for a pre-Inaugural post over at the Team Zine later today.

Cheers,

RR

P.S.- Congratulations to the AFC Champions, my (and your) Pittsburgh Steelers!!

We know that this weekend, as well as Monday and Tuesday, will be steeped in history. Both anniversaries and those that will become anniversaries will be celebrated, champagne will flow in America’s capital, followed by cocktails; which will lead to an awkward moment between John King and Anderson Cooper one morning in the CNN suite at the D.C. Hilton.

And one really awkward moment when the 45.7% of Americans who voted Republican will hear the words, “I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear…”

But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.

I wanna revisit how we came to be here- in this moment: 48 hours away from electing America’s first half-black, Muslim, communist, fascist, “messiah”, anti-christ, socialist, corporate shill, Kenyan citizen/British citizen/Indonesian citizen.

A man who is building his own private army to force Marxism on our fair sod, and abort all the babies he can’t make gay.

A man who’s bigoted preacher wasn’t Pat Robertson, Billy Graham, or Jerry Falwell.

A man who said he would sit down and talk with our enemies- sans insulting demands (preconditions, for you righties)- instead of destroying their infrastructure, decimating its civilian population, forcing exile upon the educated and contributing members of their society, and simultaneously create both a com-fucking-pletely ruined view of our country on an international scale and new and exciting places for the terrorists to set up shop.

That one? How the hell did we end up electing that one?

Keep in mind, friends and neighbors, that only touches on maybe half of the shit we put up with over the last eight years…they had to squeeze it into an eight minute segment.

Every once in a while, you get comments on your blog from people that lack the intelligence or the motivation (or both) to come up with an original, researched, factually accurate opinion. No biggie, really, but sometimes you feel compelled to respond. You know, with the truth. So here is the comment, courtesy of some fuckin’ clown. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the hot pink lettering.

The BoBoon 14 Jan 2009 at 1:11 am edit thisMan..you lefties are so full of shit it’s not even funny. It’s okay to dissent against your government…however, it’s treasonous when you asshats start calling our brave troops baby killers and accuse them of killing people under the cover of night.

Your own leftard representatives in Congress have done some serious harm to our troops. Sure, it’s okay to oppose the war - but - stop taking shots at our troops. They defend your right to dissent.

This is just a bullshit post trying to explain why you’re still an asshole. You’re beloved Obamessiah promised you guys hope and change and so far all he has done is given you and the rest of the country the same old shit. He brought back the entire bullshit Clinton administration - how the fuck is that change? He’s already told you guys he is backing out on every single campaign promise and isn’t going to change a thing.

You call that patriotism? Patriotism is calling out every freakin’ dipshit representative in the country regardless of sides or party. I have never toed the party line because both parties suck. So far - all you are pushing for is continuing to divide the country by choosing sides. How the hell is that patriotic?

United we stand, divided we fall. I guess you’d rather this country fall to islamofascists through our own division?

So let’s sift through this web of shit, propaganda, and revisionist history; a comment with  all the original content of Police Academy 6.

First of all, you fucking lemming, the last time our troops were called “baby killers” was during Vietnam. I know it may be hard for you and the rest of the braying fucking sheep like you to understand that, but it’s not 1968. Treason (and acts of sedition) are very serious accusations. But if you’re looking for someone to accuse, you should start with Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and the PNAC(that’s Project for a New American Century, boo-boo). As far as accusing anyone of “attacking under the cover of night…ya dumbshit…it’s not accusing, it’s called watching fucking television! During the whole bombing campaign we saw endless footage of night raids on every channel. Now, if you’re talking about post-Mission Accomplished, well, cue caption and link to pic:

Osprey Night Mission

CENTRAL IRAQ (Feb. 2, 2008) An MV-22 Osprey vertical-lift aircraft is refueled before a night mission in central Iraq. U.S. Navy photo by Chief Mass Communication Specialist Joe Kane

You’re right, BooBoo, how dare Chief Mass Communication Specialist Joe Kane take a picture of an Osprey Helicopter taking off for a night mission. The fucking nerve. On the other hand, lying to get us into a war, and taking the lives of 4000+ US soldiers, as well as the lives of innocent civilians- not to mention the 4 million refugees from Iraq- are all acts of treason. And let’s not get started on torture- ok BooBoo?

I’m not sure what the “Dems in congress take shots at the troops” thing is all about- maybe it’s over funding. At any rate, it’s baseless and just fucking dumb.

As far as Obama’s choosing to bring in some figures from the Clinton Era are concerned, I could give a shit. The people he’s chosen will be able to expedite his agenda because they know D.C.- not a bad thing. As far as campaign promises go…well BooBoo, in grown-up land we don’t take everything politicians say at face value. We work our asses off to keep them to their words.

Anyone who’s visited BooBoo The No-Talent-Ass Clown’s site knows that he’s a right wing hack who can’t come up with enough plagiarized material on his own, so he invites other “let’s copy this post from RedState and call it ours”  “writers” to plaster his site with their tin-foil hattery.

It’s almost sad, but even more pathetic, that these guys are still using the same arguments and tactics as they did in The Nixon Years 1979 The 80’s The 90’s  The Bush Years the glaring, complete and utterly miserable failure that was the McCain campaign.

It’s with the above statement in mind that I decided to write the GOPAC For The Left posts…which will return later today or tomorrow.

P.S.- “Islamofascists” isn’t a fucking word. Look, you hideous fuckin’ C.H.U.D., only Dubya and Dittoheads (well indoctrinated parrots that you are), in an attempt to alienate not only one of the largest religions on the planet but every single educated person ever, have been mentally incapable of placing that word in the “free, just fucking take it” bin with John Ashcroft’s “Let The Eagle Soar: Club Mix”.

The concept of what makes one patriotic has been kidnapped, brutalized, and given a gnarly case of Stockholm Syndrome by the GOP. People who understood what it meant to be a patriot- Thom Paine, Fredrick Douglass, Bill Maher- have been left behind like an under-performing school district. To the Republican Party, patriotism is sticking your head in the sand and never criticizing your government(unless you can manufacture a way to blame a liberal). Patriotism is a three word slogan you can place next to your American flag/God Bless Our Troops bumper stickers on your massive (compensatory) SUV.

Having spent several years in the service of my country at national and state levels, as well as not being some kind of mindless drone that takes my cues from the likes of Limbaugh, I can offer some of what I’ve learned to Democrats wishing to crush an opponent in our next election cycle.

1) As the party that so successfully eats its own, rarely unifies, and historically reacts rather than leads, it’s imperative that the qualities we dislike in other Democrats become inherent in our actual political opposites. In other words, save some of that mojo for the general election. And by “mojo”, I mean “mudslinging”.

2) Dissent is patriotic. This is one thing the GOP will never understand. At least, the GOP of the last 30 years. To the modern incarnation of the Republican Party, the Flag (oh yes, it gets a capital letter) is a security blanket. And if they wrap themselves tight enough in the Flag, no harm will come to them. Republicans, and many Congressional Dems, spent the better part of the last eight years wrapped so snugly in the flag that the circulation was completely cut off to their brains(I’m looking at you, Feinstien, Reid, Pelosi, Rockefeller, Conyers, and Rangel). By reclaiming the patriotism card, and going back to the original intent that loving your country includes recognizing its flaws and wanting to correct them, we can move forward and actually fucking do something about the messes of the last decade.

3) Patriotism shouldn’t be limited to stump speeches. For exemplary examples on how one serves as a patriot- see the voting records of Russ Feingold and Dennis Kucinich.

4) Never, for a second, allow the right to revise history. The fact that our taxpayer money is being spent on the “Bush Legacy Tour”(revisionist history at its “finest”) should not only piss you off, it should scare the shit outta you. Revisionists have already deified Reagan (something around 75% of Americans should have a problem with, but for some reason, don’t), vilified the successes of the Clinton Era (or claimed them for themselves), swept every misstep, blunder, and gargantuan fucking failure of the Bush Administration under the rug, and are hard at work sabotaging an Administration that hasn’t even taken place yet. This shit has got to stop. You, yes you, the astute, good looking, charming, and capable progressive reading this (and you too, birdie) have the power to do just that.

For as long as I can remember, and certainly longer than I have been involved in politics, the course of action for Democrats has always been to react to a situation/argument. Someone on the right calls you a name, and you say “nuh-uh”. The left has been blamed for anything and everything under the sun.

We have the opportunity to follow the example of the man we elected a little less than two months ago. We can change.

Which is why I’m proposing to establish a sort of GOPAC for Dems. You will learn how to become pro-active instead of reactive. You will learn to master the things that the GOP has long held reign over- the sound byte, the photo-op, capturing the narrative, winning the news cycle, and, yes, three word slogans that make the fucking brainless guinea pigs (read: undecided voter) hit the pedal of positive response. And you’ll do this without lying- which will make my program 180degrees away from GOPAC.

Imagine a Democratic Party that doesn’t spend three-fourths of a campaign rebutting the baseless, com-fucking-pletely made up shit that hate radio and GOPer mouthpieces sling during an election cycle. A Democratic Party that stays on message, pursues a progressive agenda, and makes the other side play catch-up…a party that doesn’t fucking punt on first down.

The next several posts will focus entirely on how we do this.

When I think of Diane Feinstein, the word that comes into mind is “enabler”. For those of you who don’t know what this word means, I’ll give you a moment to look it up and find out for yourself, as I don’t want to be an enabler.

Done? Good.

Thing is, friends and neighbors, your ol’ Rhino knows a bit about intelligence gathering. One of the things I learned throughout my years of obtaining information from sources unwilling to give any is that there are easy ways and im-fucking-possible ways to get what you want. We’ll briefly discuss them now, savvy?

Easy : Make a friend. Nobody tells secrets to strangers; particularly if they’re a. new to town(or for that matter, country), b. colored differently, or c. don’t speak their language. Is this making sense so far? Gawd I hope so… Anyhoo, once you’ve established a friendship, it’s easy to find out what people know.

Easy: If you can’t make a friend, make an enemy.  If you work in the intelligence community, and you need to find out where an arms shipment is headed, roadside bombs are being planted, etc., and the person you were reaching out to decides they can’t/won’t trust you, make them think you’ve set them up as a fall guy for his entire organization. This works well if you’re short on time. Most people involved in well established criminal/terrorist organizations are more afraid of retribution from their own than from you. A phone call/visit to the upper echelon takes place, and you snag your quarry.

Im-fucking-possible: Torture. Torture someone long enough, they’ll tell you that they and they alone are responsible for making Celine Dion famous (an act of terrorism nearly equal to any other). Every analyst agrees that torture nets you less reliable information than any other means of intelligence gathering. Not to mention it’s fucking reprehensible, and anyone involved in it’s use or authorization should be convicted of War Crimes.

Remember back oh, seven-maybe eight- years ago when our country abhorred torture? I fuckin’ do, and I’d like to see us get back to that whole “the United States of America doesn’t torture” thing. While Bush said we didn’t, Cheney said “you betcher ass we did/do/will for 14 more days, what the fuck are you gonna do about it?”. And they wrote legislation that clears the US of any wrongdoing/illegality in case it dawns on anyone with two fucking brain cells to rub together that they’re guilty as OJ of war crimes and oughtta be locked up for fucking ever.

Leon Panetta has been nominated to be the man to spearhead President Elect Obama’s “Just Say No” to torture program. As Director of the CIA, he would be the third man on the whole fucking ladder, behind the POTUS and Director of National Intelligence Admiral Dennis Blair.

And people like Feinstein are pissed. She should be, as one of Bush’s key allies in the Senate for his authorization of spying on US citizens and green light for torture. When the toughest question you asked Porter Goss was, “What an interesting name…how did you come by it?”, then voted to approve both the telecom and torture bills, as well as confirm both Gen. Hayden and Goss to head up the Company, you should be pissed and scared.

And you should be labeled as an enabler.

Oh, huge congratulations to Sen. Al Franken (author of Lies [and the Lying Liars that tell them]: A Fair and Blanced Look At The Right). You didn’t just beat Norm Coleman, now get to use this phrase at least once a week,

“With all due respect to the Gentleman from Arizona, while it may be true that comedians can become politicians, it’s a terribly poor decision to attempt it the other way around.”

P.S. I realize I took an extra day. I swear I’ll make it up to you.

I should be back to regular posting tomorrow. In the last two and a half weeks, we’ve driven over 2,500 miles, visited five states, and have spent less than a week in our actual house.

Add to that a visit from the same relatives we saw last week, and it doesn’t lend too much time to practice, hone, and amaze with my craft.

Anyhoo, tomorrow bitches.

We’ve gone over my personal feelings about religion, so since this being the particular time of year it is, I thought I’d give some of you folks some insight into what Christmas is like for us non-believers.

Christmas Eve:

Roll out of bed around eleven-eleven thirtyish, bask in the darkness of your room and thank science for the technology to keep the rays of the sun out, light cigarette.

Amble downstairs, scratch aimlessly, start coffee, curse a non-existent deity for not having the foresight to set the automatic timer on your heathen coffee(/espresso) maker.

While waiting for the coffee to brew, read morning affirmation from “The God Delusion”, take a few bong rips, light another cigarette.

After coffee, crossword, and more bong rips and cigarettes-  a breakfast of partially aborted chicken fetuses (and organic feta cheese…and chanterelle mushrooms), the carved flesh of a cloven, unclean beast, and the innards of a tuber. And more coffee. Followed by a good chuckle over people’s ridiculous supernatural belief systems.

3:30pm- finish up breakfast, crack open the wine, and be happy you were able to score the last two bottles of Vina Cobos Bramare Malbec(nothing too fancy or heavy…it’s early)on a Sunday morning while the rest of your town was at church. Light another cigarette.

4:20pm- ……………………………………………..’ere…………………………………………………………………

5:15pm- Read evening affirmation from “Living without God”, maybe put on Clerks II, grab some popcorn, and relax.

7:50pm- Head out to a gathering of closely acquainted fellow humans, eat super-elitist smoked and glazed carcass of an aforementioned cloven, unclean beast with extremely liberal portions of side dishes, and an after-dinner scotch(perhaps a 15yr. old Laphroaig from the godless isles of Scotland).

9:10pm- step outside for a smoke… because while the humans who co-habitate the dwelling you’re visiting don’t believe in something as undeniably stupid as an omnipresent, significantly more cruel than compassionate, bearded old man on a fluffy white cloud, they do believe that smoking indoors is grounds for an ass-whuppin’.

After exchanging tokens of our self-loathing attachment to consumerism and obligation, we all agree that not bowing to our corporate masters and buying from local, independently owned businesses was the right decision- if for no other reason that it’s up to us as humans to take care of each other…because there is no god.

Somewhere around one-ish, you thank your hosts and depart-fed, loved, gifted, and confident that you simply enjoy their company and love them, you’ll see your hosts even when you’re not commanded to do so by Hallmark, church, or advertising agencies.

It’s a long-held belief that Christmas day is spent entirely on the couch watching football, drinking micro-brewed beer, and reflecting on all that you and your loved ones had a decent fuckin’ year in spite of the fact that George W. Bush is still prez’nint for 28 more days, or that you your significant other/partner/life partner/mistress/fuck-buddy lost their job when their company shut down due to the fuckin’ depression, their hard work, focus, education, and drive will find them a new gig much faster than prayer.

Wow. That took a while. After a semi-unintended hiatus involving around 1,000 miles, several hundred trips to and from a 16 ft. box truck, and the realization that we have way too much shit, I can sit down for the first time in a week and type.

Only I have no idea what’s going on. No TV, intertubez, or newspaper for a week. I’ll be posting infrequently over the next week, as we turn around tomorrow morning and head right back in the direction we came from for the holidays.

For what it’s worth, I had a great piece worked up the other night, but lost everything I’d written due to the wi-fi getting cut off. I’ll see if a few tokes and a nice glass of scotch can bring any of that back, but for the time being, I’ll start catching up on what I’ve missed while trying to find spots in this house for years worth of crap.

It’s late here in the Heartland, and I am pausing briefly to reflect on much more than another upcoming road trip to another state. For many years, I traveled wherever for whatever: be it because of orders, job, or the hell of it. The last year, however, has been different. Ya see, in the course of the last year, I will have gone virtually coast to coast with a stopover in the buckle of the Bible Belt. For opportunity, yes, but more so because of economics.

By the time that most of you get to this post, I’ll be on the road (again, cue the Willie Nelson). Due to the current economic situation, which if you’ve been paying attention has been happening for over a year now, I’ve had to move from the lovely mountains of California to the gray, soulless prairie of Kansas. And now, I’m off to the mountains again–this time in Appalachia.

When searching for someplace to call home (for however long it may be so), figuring out how the hell to pay for things takes precedent over everything else. Believe me, I didn’t want to leave my comfy little hamlet in the Santa Cruz Mountains and land in fucking Kansas. Are you kidding me? I miss that place every day. But we live in a country where people wake up and find themselves displaced due to someone else’s poor decisions. Sometimes it was a business owner that felt he could make more profit if he shipped the jobs overseas, other times it’s because it was cheaper to liquidate your stock and buy a plant in a right-to-work state where you could exploit workers without fear of recompense. Sometimes, you just get lucky, the river card comes up just right, and (by the skin of your teeth and some generous relatives) you get to go someplace truly kick ass to finish a degree in the hopes that your chosen field will be prosperous in a few years.

After an election based largely on the theme of change, we all need to be aware that change comes in all forms. The writer Terry Pratchett places a curse in several of his books. The curse says, “May you live in interesting times”.

Friends and neighbors, we live in interesting times.