therelevantrhino

I should be back to regular posting tomorrow. In the last two and a half weeks, we’ve driven over 2,500 miles, visited five states, and have spent less than a week in our actual house.

Add to that a visit from the same relatives we saw last week, and it doesn’t lend too much time to practice, hone, and amaze with my craft.

Anyhoo, tomorrow bitches.

Wow. That took a while. After a semi-unintended hiatus involving around 1,000 miles, several hundred trips to and from a 16 ft. box truck, and the realization that we have way too much shit, I can sit down for the first time in a week and type.

Only I have no idea what’s going on. No TV, intertubez, or newspaper for a week. I’ll be posting infrequently over the next week, as we turn around tomorrow morning and head right back in the direction we came from for the holidays.

For what it’s worth, I had a great piece worked up the other night, but lost everything I’d written due to the wi-fi getting cut off. I’ll see if a few tokes and a nice glass of scotch can bring any of that back, but for the time being, I’ll start catching up on what I’ve missed while trying to find spots in this house for years worth of crap.

Slightly under two weeks ago, I was given the Lemonade Award from one of my new favorite bloggers, Kim, from A World Of Progress. You are now all commanded to visit AWOP (not a wop, you anti-Italian bastards) and read and comment and generally spread the love.

Apparently upon receiving this award, you are supposed to nominate 10 blogs and pass the award onto them. I thought about it, and realized that 10 may be too high a number, so I’m going to go with five.  Five sounds about right; I like prime numbers, and I don’t have to play by anyone’s rules by my damn own. So without further ado, and without repeats from my last round of shoutouts, here are my Single Malt Blog Awards.

The first award goes to the blog that gave me the lemonade award,

A World Of Progress : Thanks, Kim, for being one of the most socially conscious, active, and aware members of the blogosphere. For your constant reminders that we are all human, and deserve to be treated as such, take this bottle of single malt and drink, liberally.

Inspire Political Discourse : Also fairly new to me but tremendously comprehensive, IPD has become another one of my daily reads. If you enjoy your news with attitude and snark, and you obviously do if you’re reading this, stop on over and give Nicole some love. Thanks, IPD, for all that you do. Enjoy the bottle, and cheers.

Polianiac : One of our own here on Today.com, and one of the best. I look forward to Karen’s well thought out, researched, and exceptionally written socio-political commentary. So please, enjoy the whiskey…and if we bump into each other at the inauguration, we can enjoy some down at McCormick and Schmicks for realz, yo.

The Raging Rev.  : Because I have to kick down to a fellow non-theist. I just have to, we’re the most underrepresented group of people out there. For constantly challenging the status quo, have a drink on me. Cheers.

Waxing Poetically : Ah, Mikey LaPenna. Another one of our Today mafia. He’s actually a genuinely kind human being, which is why I can’t understand why he hangs out here as often as he does. In any event, he blends the written word with video in a way that enhances both. Go check him out. Mikey, here’s hoping you turn into an asshole when you get a bottle of Scotch in ya!

If I forgot you, or you’re feeling left out, wait and see if Santa drops you off an award in your estocking. And birdie, I mentioned you last time, so stop getting all huffy.

In case anyone is wondering why I ignored the right wing blogs this time…why the fuck are you wondering that?

Cheers

 The brain trust that is the Republican Party is suing…that’s right, the Republican Party.

You’re kidding me, right?

Apparently the GOP is so butt hurt over John McCain getting beaten like a rented mule last Tuesday that they’re suing to change the campaign finance laws he wrote with Russ Feingold six years ago.

“Under that law, the national parties can only raise money under federal fundraising restrictions. The law banned the national parties from raising so-called soft-money _ that is, unlimited amounts of money from corporations, unions or individuals. If the national parties can raise money for state parties or for state candidates, they would adjust that fundraising to state limits, some of which are far more lenient than federal law.”

So, lemme get this straight, Barack Obama, through 3.2 million donors raised a metric ass ton of money, so the logical step is to punish John McCain for losing and sue to raise more money for the RNC. Make sense? It’s a last ditch effort on the GOP’s behalf to take advantage of the Bush-friendly Supreme Court Justices before the incoming Obama Administration.

Now, I told you that story just to set the tone for this one. You may have heard that Obama wants a civilian army to carry out his Marxist demands, you know, like the Browshirts did in Nazi Germany. Of course that makes sense, because a handful of Republican fruit bats are screaming it, and Conservative Politics Today reports it, so it must be true.

I don’t know if your familiar with AmeriCorps or not, but you should check them out if you want some background. They currently offer 75,000 opportunities to help with local and national non-profits throughout the country. Back in July, Barack Obama said he wanted to expand AmeriCorps to 250,000, and expand the Peace Corps as well. Through this voluntary, that’s right, voluntary program, you could get discounted tuition after the completion of your public service. That’s it. No civilian army marching  in the streets, no one coming to your home and taking your wife to “spread the milf around”, your beloved 1997 Saturn will not be annexed for the Proletariat.

The scare tactics the Right is implementing are laughable, but we know all too well that there are people (read: fucking stupid people) who believe this crap, and get more worked up than an underage band geek at an all nude strip club. Should you encounter one of these crazies, either here on Today.com or elsewhere, the best thing you can do is laugh in their faces. I mean it, let it come from your belly: Bwahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Over and over until they feel as marginalized as their damn party has become.

If I see one more “Barack Obama should do this” post I’m going to lose it. None of us are cabinet members, staffers, speechwriters, or members of congress. We are not advisers, strategists, talk-show hosts, or pundits. Our opinions extend as far as our readers, and that’s about fuckin’ it. Not to mention most of the “advice” for our new President-elect is coming from the side that tried to destroy him.

To those right wing pretendapundits, let my say this as plainly as possible:

Shut Yer Fuckin’ Pie Hole!

You, who have done nothing but further the myths and the smears regarding your new President have no seat at the table. My Republican friend in the Air Force, however, does. He called me to congratulate me the other day, and said that no matter what, the office of the Presidency is above his politics, and Barack Obama had his unyielding support. He didn’t vote for Obama, but he didn’t trash him either.

The point of this, is that if you really have some advice for our President elect, you can hop your happy ass over to change.gov . For any of you that still doubt Barack Obama’s ability to take the reins in arguably the harshest and most challenging political, national, and global environment  in our history…

 Any questions?

That’s McCain’s recent attack line. Measuring the drapes. Makes Obama sound arrogant, and more than a little effete. But while John McCain is busy throwing the kitchen sink and the damn plumber at Barack Obama, the Senator from Illinois is expanding his lead in key battleground states, motivating the largest and most effective ground game in history, and quietly assembling a solid, comprehensive transition team should he manage to make it to the White House.

So yes, Sen. McCain, in a sense Obama is mesuring the drapes. If by “drapes” you mean “panel of qualified individuals with the ability to steer us out of this morass”.  Transition teams are necessary functions of any nominee, and like the selection of a running mate, tell a voter quite a bit about what kind of President the person will be if elected. For expample, Barack Obama’s transition team consists of “dozens of individuals — divided into working groups for particular federal agencies — to produce policy agendas and lists of recommended appointees. As evidence of their advanced preparations, officials provided a copy of the strict ethics guidelines that individuals working on the transition effort are required to sign.”

Contrast that with John McCain’s trasition team, which seems to be concentrating more on planting crab grass on the White House lawn, and giving McCain a reason to do this:

As reported earlier, the man chosen to be McCain’s transition team point man is William Timmons, bag man for Saddam and a man McCain once referred to as a crook. Which I suppose makes him qualified to be in a McCain administration…

We have in Barack Obama a thoughtful, pragmatic, forward looking candidate who has the youth and the vision to move this country forward. We have in John McCain an worn out soldier who wasn’t qualified to lead other soldiers, let alone his country. War horses deserve a nice pasture, and the chance to reflect on a long life of service, and I honestly hope John McCain gets just that…after a crushing defeat in a Presidential election where he sacrificed his integrity, sold his honor for talking points, and promoted division and open hostility because a power gambit was much more important than “Country First”.

Michelle Bachmann is a scourge on democracy, and an example of the failed products and policies of the Bush Administration. We’ve reached the boiling point in this country…a kind of “through the looking glass” moment in time that may not be unique in its nature, but certainly in its magnitude.

While Bachmann carries the banner for the auld guard, progress and national evolution roll on. Only this time, progress is stopping along the way to let the auld guard know that we are no longer silent. Since my last post, her erstwhile opponent, Elwyn Tinklenberg, has raised over $650,000 in less than three days. Friends, these aren’t just a few concerned Minnesotans with deep pockets…far from it; there has been an outpouring of national support.

Bachmann has been trying to walk back her comments in the last couple of days, but she’s in a similar spot as John McCain after stating that the fundamentals of our ecomony are strong. She’s made the same statements on a variety of shows…not just Hardball, and it’s hard to walk back live TV.

Bachmann, Palin, and those drinking their Kool-Aid are, in my opinion, a dying breed. We’ve come too far to regress.  By the way…expect some “interviews” with Bachmann and Mooselini herself in the next couple of days. Now…some more pics from the Obama rally in Kansas City. These shots are of the overflow from the event, as 75,000 was declared capacity.

Outside the Inside, good times, man, good times:

“A true patriot is a lover of his country who rebukes, and does not excuse, it’s sins”

Fredrick Douglass wrote those words almost 150 years ago, in the midst of the rise of the Republican Party.  When I heard Gov. Palin’s comments today , it made me think about what is Pro-American, and what isn’t.

Pro-American is not shipping jobs overseas, nor giving enormous tax breaks to compaines that do.

Pro-American is not putting our troops in harm’s way for no justifiable reason.

Pro-American is not voting to make returning Veteran’s lives miserable

Pro-American is not voting against energy independence until it’s absolutely necessary.

Pro-American is not voting against recognizing women as equals in the workforce.

Pro-American is not wrapping racism in the flag.

Pro-American is being willing to sacrifice yourself for your country, even for a lie.

Pro-American is being willing to stand up to your country when it’s on the wrong track.

Pro-American is seeing the future from a globalist perspective.

Pro-American is being willing to address poverty, not punish it.

Pro-American is being able to have the audacity to want to change America.

Rhino out.

All tactics, no strategy. That sums up the McCain campaign. He counts on America’s collective stupidity. He wants you to stay dumb. Hey, it worked twice for Bush, so why not? He wants you distracted by gimmicks like some idiot member of the right wing fringe party Natural Law(yes, I’m talking about the plumber), or buy into the myth that is Mooselini, or believe that he suspended his campaign, or that he’s a Maverick™, or that he cares about Veterans. In fact, at the time of this writing, I can’t remember how many gimmicks the McCain camp has thrown out there to see if any stick.

McCain doesn’t want you informed, he wants you scared. Scared of a black President, scared of a world that doesn’t fit into the narrowly defined box of New Conservatism, scared of education, health care, corporate regulation, scared of the truth.

The die has been cast, and even CNN has had to report Barack Obama with 277 Electoral Votes, with leads in every swing state but Missouri, and he’s only down 1 point there. I know some of the people involved with MO’s ground game, and they’re working the McCaskill strategy harder than ever.

Please, for me, don’t be stupid.