therelevantrhino

Several sources confirmed yesterday that the US economy is officially in a recession, and has been since 2007. In case some other “breaking” stories have slipped past you, I’ve decided to chronicle them here.

On September 11th 2001,  the United States was attacked by 19 men from Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, and Afghanistan. And by that, I mean Iraq.

The 1918 World Series was thrown by John Cusak.

M. Knight Shamalan will surprise you with a twist.

I have it on good authority that Mt. St. Helens may erupt sometime in the ’80’s.  So just make sure you’re at that Grateful Dead show in Portland and look north during “Fire on the Mountain”

Mama Cass won’t make it to 40.

Against all odds, Flava Flav will.

Just in case you’ve been asleep for the last eight years, our Constitution has been turned into a cleaning rag, thousands of people have died for no good reason at all, billions in profit have been made as a direct result of their needless deaths, our economy has been eviscerated by followers of Ayn Rand, and cannabis is still illegal.

Oh, and the dirigible is making a comeback.

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