therelevantrhino

Huge (rhino sized?) thanks to The Godless, Baby-Killing Sodomite (aka WWBD ) for giving me a Kick Ass Blogger Award. And to think all I had to do to earn this was point out how ridiculous the right wingnuts are around here. And by “here”, I mean “every-fucking-where you look”.

Just a few quick ponderances since I felt obligated to write a thank you note (dammit, birdie, example setter). Tomorrow night is the one and only VP debate between Joey the Shark and Saracuda (aka Mooselini, aka Caribou Barbie, aka “do your party a favor and bow out “). What can we expect tomorrow night to be like? My guess, not what we’ve seen.

Given the subterrainian expectations that most seem to have after watching failure after Shakespearean failure regarding what’s her name’s recent TV interviews, or that the only time anyone’s given her any praise is when she managed to read words phonetically spelled for her on a teleprompter, it’s easy to assume that she’ll crash and burn like, well, like John McCain in a cockpit. But don’t hold your breath, sports fans, this ain’t that kinda party. The debate format that Camp McChickenshit lobbied so furiously for eliminates the free-flowing response period we saw in Friday’s go round. This is limited to 90 second responses, with little to no opportunity for rebuttal. Expect Princess Pro-Life to give vapid non-answers that she can segue into a slam on Obama, or simply spout buzzwords and talking points until the red light lets her know she needs to wrap it up soon. She’ll fare much better in this format, as she won’t really have to answer any questions, and can smile and look and smell pretty.

Conversely, Joe Biden will have to fit a wealth of actual, grown-up knowledge into the same 90 seconds. Expect him to be deferrent towards Caribou Barbie, as it should insult him to share a stage with such a mental midget, and go after McCain. I think that questions regarding McCain’s judgment will come up often, especially after a particularly substance free answer from what’s her name. This format will also eliminate Biden’s tendencies to be excessively loquacious, as well as limit his own gaffe-ometer.

Remember, all of these debates are for the undecided voters, not for the other 96% of us that have already made up our minds, so it’s the remaining 35 people in the country that will tell us who “won” the debate. For any undecided voters reading this right now, here’s a hint: It’s the one gives answers that relate to the questions.

**Bonus: Transcript from Couric interview with Joe Biden and Caribou Barbie.

Katie Couric: Why do you think Roe v. Wade was a good decision?

Joe Biden: Because it’s as close to a consensus that can exist in a society as heterogeneous as ours. What does it say? It says in the first three months that decision should be left to the woman. And the second three months, where Roe v. Wade says, well then the state, the government has a role, along with the women’s health, they have a right to have some impact on that. And the third three months they say the weight of the government’s input is on the fetus being carried.

And so that’s sort of reflected as close as anybody is ever going to get in this heterogeneous, this multicultural society of religious people as to some sort of, not consensus, but as close it gets.

I think the liberty clause of the 14th Amendment … offers a right to privacy. Now that’s one of the big debates that I have with my conservative scholar friends, that they say, you know, unless a right is enumerated - unless it’s actually, unless [it] uses the word “privacy” in the Constitution - then no such “constitutional right” exists. Well, I think people have an inherent right.

Couric: Are there Supreme Court decisions you disagree with?

Biden: You know, I’m the guy who wrote the Violence Against Women Act. And I said that every woman in America, if they are beaten and abused by a man, should be able to take that person to court - meaning you should be able to go to federal court and sue in federal court the man who abused you if you can prove that abuse. But they said, “No, that a woman, there’s no federal jurisdiction.” And I held, they acknowledged, I held about 1,000 hours of hearings proving that there’s an effect in interstate commerce.
Women who are abused and beaten and beaten are women who are not able to be in the work force. And the Supreme Court said, “Well, there is an impact on commerce, but this is federalizing a private crime and we’re not going to allow it.” I think the Supreme Court was wrong about that decision.

Couric Why, in your view, is Roe v. Wade a bad decision?

Sarah Palin: I think it should be a states’ issue not a federal government-mandated, mandating yes or no on such an important issue. I’m, in that sense, a federalist, where I believe that states should have more say in the laws of their lands and individual areas. Now, foundationally, also, though, it’s no secret that I’m pro-life that I believe in a culture of life is very important for this country. Personally that’s what I would like to see, um, further embraced by America.

Couric: Do you think there’s an inherent right to privacy in the Constitution?

Palin: I do. Yeah, I do.

Couric: The cornerstone of Roe v. Wade.

Palin: I do. And I believe that individual states can best handle what the people within the different constituencies in the 50 states would like to see their will ushered in an issue like that.

Couric: What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?

Palin: Well, let’s see. There’s, of course in the great history of America there have been rulings, that’s never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but …

Couric: Can you think of any?

Palin: Well, I could think of … any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But, you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a vice president, if I’m so privileged to serve, wouldn’t be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today.

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