therelevantrhino

Slowly but surely, America is starting to realize what’s been handed to them. As more information about Sarah Palin surfaces, Americans of all parties are seeing her for what she is: inconsequential, backwards, and in the right place at the right time. Sure, she’s a hottie as far as the political scene is concerned, but by those standards so is Dana Perino. The GOP may as well have ran her if they wanted a political neophyte to agree with John McCain-at least she has some experience dealing with reporters seeking something other than a glowing perspective of their interviewee.

If I was a Democratic strategist, this is how I’d spend my time. I would relentlessly attack her anti-abortion stance. I would send her “fellow difference maker” Hillary Clinton to Pennsylvania and Ohio and keep her there through November stumping Hil-Dog’s pancake ass off grabbing those blue-collar voters who could go either way, but want to hear that their next president will try to give them jobs, not send more overseas. I would run ad after ad in battleground states showing her statements calling Hillary a “whiner”, that she doesn’t know what a Vice President does, that her mother-in-law doesn’t believe she’s qualified for the job, and that she wants Creationism taught in schools.

Second, every time a Dem is on T.V., I would go over Alaska’s history of corruption, and drive home the point that anyone could have stepped in to clean up that mess. Hell, a janitor with a G.E.D. could’ve done the same job with equal results. Then I would drive home the point that a janitor would’ve had prior work experience before becoming mayor of a town, let alone governor. It’s one thing to do right for a state with a population half the size of a major city that’s been so mired in piss poor management, but it’s another to be the second most powerful person in the entire country. I would also point out that the Alaska State Government is only in session for 90 days a year. Oh, and did I mention that she’s anti-abortion, even in cases of rape and incest?

Third, every opportunity I had, I would encourage my staff and supporters to make the glaringly obvious comparisons to Pat Buchanan, espically in the state of Florida (which may as well be an unoffical hub of Ben Gurion). I would dig up the existing printed reports of her on record supporting Mr. Buchanan, who is viewed amongst the Jewish community as a saggy Hitler. Then, I’d draw the obvious disparities between her and her running mate about Israel-and the fact that they’d only met ONCE before he chose her as his token pair of breasts in the worst publicity stunt in recent political history.

These are just polite suggestions. We know that the Democrats will have to tread lightly, as battering women and keeping them from reaching their potential is more of a Republican thing. And that’s part of the point-this woman kind of hates women. She would like for all of them to have as many kids as the good Lord deems fit. She’d like for your kids to be undereducated, but know how to shoot a gun. She’d like for your kids to believe that the Earth is 6,000 years old, and that someday you’ll be carried away to Heaven on a cloud of Goebel’s talking points. That drilling in ANWAR will solve something besides fattening the pockets of her constituents, and that the government has the right, through scripture, to decide what’s right for her own gender. After eight years of legislating ideology and opinion, after eight years of the moronic leading the blind and deaf, after eight years of job loss, housing crises, and crippling foreign policy dictated by zealots with a personal agenda running counter-current to the majority of Americans, the choice should be clear.

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