therelevantrhino

Fail. That’s the grade my house gave to the majority of the speakers at the DNC last night, and my better half is a card-carrying Democrat. I’d look over every once in a while to find her shaking her head with the same expression on her face as when we watch Andrew Zimmern’s Bizarre Foods show.  The exceptions for the night were Pat Leahy, Dennis “The Frothing Leprechaun” Kucinich, and Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer. Because of the just hype that has cast a shadow on this convention by the Clintons, the messages and rallying cries of those gentlemen were forgotten by 10:15 last night. All this talk about “more of the same” must have gone to Hillary’s malleable, plastic head, and we can most likely look forward to similar behavior from Bill this evening.

The mainstream media in this country was creaming all the way down to their Capezios over Hillary’s speech last night. Because I’m a freak, I counted the number of times I heard her say “I” or “me”, and the number of times she said “Barak” or “Obama”. 31-12, respectively, by my count. You don’t even have to dumb yourself down by watching FOX News to realize that what America witnessed during her speech was the words of a bitter rival re-hashing her campaign speeches from the primary. The look on Michelle Obama’s face said it all: Eat that crow, bitch, you lost. You could see Sen. Clinton biting the inside of that soulless, Botoxed cheek of hers every time she was forced to say something nice about Obama, all the while failing to mention anything about the seriously harsh charges she made on the campaign trail about his lack of experience and poor judgment. To summarize 20+ minutes of forced fluff and drivel, she was as recalcitrant as her party’s mascot, laying out her case for election in 2012, because she realizes that it will be easier after four years of having a Democrat in the White House.

If my friends in the Democratic Party want to become one party, they need to stop being Americans and start being Democrats. I subscribe to John Edwards’ theory of two Americas. Obviously he thought they existed, and in one of them he wasn’t married. It should be a cake walk to the White House for the Dems this year, but the brats in Clintonland got too pissed when the black guy took their dolly away from them. And out of spite, they’re willing to risk their immediate future (because you can’t get anyone to think about anyone but themselves in this country).

One of the reasons that George W. Bush was so successful was because his handlers knew that if you change and monopolize the issues, you own the conversation. I never thought I’d say this, but the Dems need the Cliff’s Notes version of the Karl Rove playbook. If W. could win an entire election based on two guys kissing, then the Dems can win on actual issues like the economy, Iraq, and sustainable energy. That should be the focus of the final two days of the DNC, and the coming months. They’ve already wasted two days trying to undo the damage that they themselves largely caused, and if they can’t get past that soon, well, we can look forward to a third term of failures.

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